I was thinking some years back, what if our life, our whole life can be recorded and watched whenever we want it. From any angle. Every damn thing you did would be on it there.
Here I'm not talking about recording all the people around you. Only some small radius with you as it's centre would be caught. So you cannot know too many things about others, what they did at the time you were doing something, what were they talking behind your back and all those things. And yes, only YOU can watch this movie. So there is no question of censoring anything for public viewing, because there is not going to be any.
Our world as we see it, is different for everyone. I see a red box, you too, but is it the same colour that we are looking at? Who knows? The sounds we hear, the things we see are limited by our physical and mental limitations. Our eyes can see, our ears can hear only what our mind can understand.
How would our life look from this Recorded Version of it? You will have many laughing moments for sure. The way you fell from your bicycle. The way you cried for chocolates when you were a little kid. Beatings by the teacher. The pictures you drew on the walls. And of course, your fighting with siblings and other friends. Your innumerable lies. Your lonely walks by the empty street. Your tears, screams, laughs,winks and stares.
So now you got all your life televised. What would you do with it? Will it help you in knowing how you are? It surely will act as an encyclopedia for your psychiatrist. But apart from that, it will ask you more questions than you can answer. You will want to skip some moment where you think you didn't do the right thing. Will your viewes about some things change as you watch this movie? There are some things in life which you don't want to have second thought about. Will you feel more guilty about some of the things you've done? Will you say all the time while watching this movie, "Oh! Gosh! Why did I do that! I should've chosen the other way. I should've taken the other choice. I should have spoken my feelings out then and there. I should have shut my blessed mouth at that time." I this and I that. Everything should have and shouldn't have. Come on now, why do you want to see what you can't change?
Your life is like a game of chess. Not the one with 64 squares. But the one with infinite squares. Your opponents, [well not exactly in that sense, you can include all the people around you in that set], aren't singular but are plural. You can't change any of your moves once you touch. There is no ctrl + Z. Everything seems like cause and effect. Except, except perhaps the moments in which you have defeated the fate.
Initially you don't have any clue how you are going to play it. Your strategy in the game is decided more or less by your surroundings. Sometimes you have long term plans, if you think earlier and faster. Many a times you don't know what's going to be your own next move. At times, you are left stranded in the middle of the vast chequerboard. You don't know what to do next. You are completely lost. You might quit if you want but that's illegal. Also, there are times when you have reigned your game. Everything happens the way you thought it would.
The basic postulate here is that 'this game has some rules.' Are you sure it has? Are the rules you think are forbidding you from playing something are real rules? What if you don't obey them? What if nobody actually knows the rules?
What is the purpose of this game? Is it a game wherein someone's victory means the othere one has lost? How does this game end? Does it end with your tenure as a homo sapien?
Is it's aim NOT to win but to play a better game than you played in the past? All the joy in the ride, none in the destination.
I think I'm getting too philosophical, so let me stop at that.
* what's this picture? you might find in my next blog entry.
