Tuesday 2 June 2009

The Tipping Point

Epitaph for a dead waiter:"God finally caught his eye."
George S. Kaufman

It's a big restaurant. You are sitting with your friends, enjoying the dinner. From some corner Jazz funk is playing. Laughs, anecdotes, and experiences are being shared. After a while lemon bowl comes up, and with it comes the bill. If it's not a treat, the usual fiscal discussions take place. Finally, it is decided who is going to contribute how much. The money is paid. And after exactly 2 minutes, the waiter comes back with the bill folder. The person nearest to it checks how much is the change. Now, the question comes – should we leave the tip?

Ever since I was a kid I have observed elder people paying bills at a restaurant. Sometimes they keep the tip, at other times they don't. I never dared to ask them why was it so, either way.



But now that I have to pay the bills myself, I am thinking seriously about it. Why, where, and more importantly how much tip I should give?

So I researched, googled I mean :) And Lo! what I found.

The tipping custom is prominent in the western world There they not only give the tip at the restaurant, but also to luggage boys at the hotel, hair stylist, taxi driver and whatnot. They have an old saying 'If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford food at that restaurant.' Better visit McDonald's. Stunning, isn't it? In fact, there are many people enthusiastically debating on the net about how much tip should be given for a particular kind of service. The western folks strive to be gratuity savvy. They even feel sorry when unable to pay the tip. In America there are 'Tip Charts' at every restaurant. The custom is to pay from 10% to 20 % of the total bill. These charts tell you how much your tip should be if your bill is some XXX amount. Of course, there isn't any federal law, it is just a custom. And by the way, there is a long form of TIPS – To Insure Proper Service.


There is no universal tipping etiquette. It changes just like the local dialects. For example, in Europe tips are customary in Britain, France, Germany while it is not necessary in Italy, Switzerland, Sweden.

My frugal second self is shouting - 'Isn't all this essentially looting? Whatever tip etc. is expected, shouldn't it reflect in the menu card itself? We aren't raja-maharajas of yesteryears who liked to gift generously to the servants. Why should we pay the servers, aren't they given salary?'

The answer is yes and no. In western countries major part of a waitperson's income comes from tip credits. Often they are paid below the minimum wage and hence they have to be dependent on the tips to make the ends meet. In a way it's a good system, the waiter who works hard and still keeps a smile gets good tip. His/her job is not just limited to bringing meals, but also answering queries about the menu. So, tips act like an incentive to them. But what if the food is not up to the mark, certainly that is not the fault of the waiter. In this regard following advice is given on wisegeek.com -

Bear in mind that food and service are separate issues. If the food was bad but the service was good, complain to the manager about the food, but tip the server for their efforts. On the other hand, if the food was good but the meal was ruined by poor service, a lower tip can reflect that as well.

By the way, I still don't know who gives tips to the cook. Ultimately it is the chef who prepares our meal. Is the tip we pay distributed equally among the workers? God knows.

There are generous tippers and there are those 'others'. Generous tippers are welcomed cheerily. But what happens to a lousy tipper? I read somewhere that if you don't give the tip servants will spit in your food next time when you revisit the eatery. Here is a warning from a server (as posted on a website)


'Anyone who does not tip, or tips very poorly should know not to eat at the same place more than twice because you have just messed with the person you has your food before you eat it. A server handling their junk then touching your food is the least that will be done.'

I guess this particular waiter looks like this -


Thank goodness, situation isn't so bad in India. Here we can happily eat at a dhaba/hotel without worrying about the tip. Hospitality of an Indian waiter is not directly proportional to the amount of cash he receives from the customer. Well at least it used to be so. Today, Indian cities are becoming more and more western. People are becoming richer by the day, hence by the nights they lessen the burden of the wallets by visiting posh restaurants. When everybody is getting rich, why should waiters be left behind? But then these waiters should also learn some manners from their western counterparts.

A few months ago we had gone for our weekend dinner to a restaurant near our place. The service was kind of average. The busboys weren't prompt, we had to ask three times for filling our empty glasses(of water:). After paying the bill, the bill folder(well, what is the word for the thing in which they take back money?) returned to our table, with a tenner as change. There was an inner pocket in the folder, and the note was kept in it, as if for hiding from me. Now, if a customer wants to leave the tip, s/he will, why play such tricks? I took that note out and returned the cashless folder to the waiter. To my surprise – he frowned and animatedly spoke something in Telugu(my nearest guess) - none of which I understood, except for the word TIP. I thought for a while whether to speak to the manager about this, but then it would have spoiled the nice mood that all of us were in.

You might have witnessed at least one restaurant brawl involving a waiter and a customer. But please, hold that rage. How you treat a waiter can predict a lot about your character. And you don't want to leave a bad impression on others, do you?

Here are some of the customs which are followed in the different regions of the globe. (Source: http://www.airlinecreditcards.com)

In Portugal, usually tipping is not considered a pleasant thing to do in public with other people watching. But it is always quite welcoming money when this is done in private.

Hah! Was that word 'tipping'?


The best advice about tipping in Japan is usually simple: don’t. Handing money directly to a waiter or waitress is considered quite rude and a predominantly Western custom.

I like Japan. :)

Tipping in Egypt, often referred to as baksheesh, can be a complicated custom for foreign visitors. It’s more than just a custom, it’s a way of life. Tips are not only given to those who perform services, but a small tip can also get you granted small favors like admittance into places that would otherwise be closed.


And what are those places?

There is a great debate on whether or not one should tip in Spain. Many, if not most, natives do not leave tips for meals or drinks and often tourists will be the only ones to do so.

Foolish tourists. .


While tipping has generally been frowned upon in communist China, and still isn’t a true part of Chinese culture.

Hindi-Chini Bhai Bhai!

The tipping culture varies all over the world. You should add that point to your checklist while planning a foreign tip. Always bear in mind – when in a Roman hotel leave the tip as Romans do.


P.S. Do you know what is the banner line of the website LousyTippers.com?



P.P.S - Also check out 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

[Note - To link to the original webpage - just click on the cartoons]



Wednesday 8 April 2009

Lolgallery @ Bangy

Bangalore is a funny place. See for yourself ---

Pele, Mother Teresa, Dr. Ambedkar and Buddha
All in One!


PAN or PAAN ?


Smoking Behind
(Captured from Tech Park top)


Name says it all
(seen on Airport Road)


PS - Photo Credits Mandar, Pranav (me!)

Sunday 5 April 2009

A Day as an Invigilator


After reading Shashank's blog I got very much inspired for going to a DLPD exam as an invigilator. So I called my PS faculty and she later confirmed my invigilator-ship for this weekend. Equipped with the map to reach the center 'Baldwin Boys' Highschool' I eagerly waited for the E-day.

- Meanwhile a gchat intercepted by confidential sources -
“Abey, tera center kaunsa hai?”
“Kuch Baldwin Boys' School karke..”
“Ohh, mera bhi wahi hai. Will there be all boys for the exam :(”
“Xxii$ Saala!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------
fast forward to Saturday



Exam is on 0900. To be safe we get there at 0815. We meet some veteran invigilators. They guided us for the process. See how....

NewBie1 [who is looking irritated for having woken up at 6 a.m. on the weekend] asks
'Paisa Kitna Milega?'
NewBie2 : '600'
NewBie3 : [in typical North style] 'Kya! Humko to 900 bola tha. Saale BITS wale beech mein paise kha rahe hai bol raha hu mai tereko.'

All of them go to a veteran. He explains to them that since it's a comprehensive exam they might be paid Rs. 900. But he isn't sure.

NewBie1 : Khane ko kya kya dete hai? Kitne Baje?
NewBie2 : Chup Baith. Do they pay by cheque or cash?
Vet : Line mein khada karke dete hai ek-ek ko.

NewBie3, who is a die hard fan of big B is thinking -

He aka Amitabh Bachhan is dressed like a mazdoor and is standing in a long queue. The queue is made up of all the exhausted invigilators who worked for 12 hours. After some time his turn comes. In front of him, behind a table, there is sitting a thekedar or contractor. Thekedar smiles “khi: khi: khi: khi: Yahan pe angootha lagao beta.” and points at the register. Amitabh squints and suddenly grabs the hold of the pen in Thekedar's jacket. Signs the register in style and collects the money.
“Yahan pe to 900 likha hai aur paise to sirf 600 hai.”
Thekedar[again laughs disgustingly] :“Jitna mila hai Bhagwaan ki den samzo.”

Amitabh throws the money on his face and kicks the table. Thekedar falls down while still fixed in the chair. All the fellow invigilators cheer for Amitabh....

“Hello Mister, aapka naam kya hai?”

“Vijay.”

“Your name is not there in the list.”

“Kya?”

Our NewBie realizes that the DLPD coordinator is talking to him.

“Sorry sir. Sorry sir. My name is ..” And then he signs the attendance sheet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DLPDians collecting money after the exam

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Orientation programme

The DLPD coordinator explains the rules to all of us.
“Do not read novels or newspapers. Do not play mobile games. Do not listen to your i-pods. Blah blah blah ”

The classrooms are randomly allotted to us. We are given a sizable stack of sheets- containing answer books and question papers. I am thinking – 'Voila! My dream of childhood has come true. For the first time in my life I have the very question papers in my hand well before the exam. But alas! I am not writing the exam. . .'

My classroom was in the other building. With enthu and all I run , carefully holding the slew of papers. After climbing 3 floors down and 3 up I am puffing heavily.

When I stand in front my class – 3 A – I am in for a surprise. There is no one in the class! “Where are they?”, I exclaim. Did I miss the class? Am I in the wrong building? I noticed that all the other classrooms were getting filled. But why is my class so deserted? I call the corridor boy [who stand there for any help just-in-case].

I point finger at the room and say “Nobody is there!”. He goes in and comes out after checking the class as if I am faking. He then consoles me “They will come. You wait.” Just then the first bell rings – signifying the answer sheet distribution. He hurriedly disappears.

I am standing helpless in the class. Still holding the heap. After two minutes a woman comes in running in the class. I think 'Yo yo! Somebody has come.' But still to make sure I ask her “Are you writing embedded systems - ” She sharply cuts me down.
She: Give me 8 question papers.
I (to myself): ??? Who is she? Why does she want 8 question papers? And what about the answer sheets? Is there something wrong in here? Is she going to sell these papers outside? For what price? What will be my cut?
I get embarrassed even for feeling that way. I clutch the papers to my chest, deciding not to give her any of them.

Now she is talking on the phone. “Yes, yes, I am in room 3 A. There is nobody here. I am bringing the papers.”
She (to me): Quick! Hand them over.
I gather some courage and utter “What for?”
She: Some papers are not printed correctly. So we need extra.
Then suddenly I remember that she was there while the invigilator orientation was going on. 'Oh, so she is a faculty.'
Like a good boy I take out eight papers from the brown envelope and give them to her.

I : Madam, Nobody came in this class.
She: You wait here till 9.30. Then come to the staff room.

I stand in the door of the class. 'Will they pay me or not if nobody comes here?'. That thought stirs me. My eyes search fiercely in the vicinity for the students. I am feeling like [some] BITS professors whose lectures are avoided like plague by the students. A typical situation - BITS Prof who is standing at the door of the empty class shouts at a boy “Hey, you! You are in my course right?” The boy ducks down and runs as fast as he can in the opposite direction. Prof Sighs “Why no one comes to my class?” I echo the same.

A girl comes asking for something. My eyes lit up expectantly.

Girl: Where is the classroom for Computer Networks?
I(to myself): Why baby, don't you want to write embedded systems paper?
I(to her): Ask that corridor boy there. He will tell you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A long wait follows

I go and sit in the teacher's chair and keep the heavy stack on the desk. Oh boy! I am actually sitting in the teacher's chair! (this was my second childhood dream:)
In slow motion, I move my eyes all over the class. I notice the posters made by the kids. All of them seem have a common theme – 'Moon and stars'. There are some notices also on a wall. There is a timetable hanging. What's this..After the second period there is a 'TEA – BREAK'. What kind of a school is this? Shamelessly promoting stimulants.


Next I open the table's drawer. There are some dusty notebooks, one school diary and a piece of printed paper. I lift it. It is a paper of 'Environmental Study'. I read it to myself.

Fill in the blanks:

1.Always ____ the truth.
2.Respect your ______.

I look around and discover the answer on the wall. There is written:

One of the God's Gifts
YOUR TEACHER

And besides it on a paper it's written

Remember
Always respect your teachers. Be nice to them.

Then I came to the subjective questions. Some of them were -

'Who or what is a couch potato?'

'Why do we wear clothes?'

I read the last line again. What kind of a question is this? I am brainstorming for all the possible answers for it. Just then a mobile rings loudly. Almost as a reflex action, I get up saying “Sorry, sir.” But then I realize. 'What the heck! I am the invigilator, not some brat student. Plus there is nobody in the class.'

I look at my watch. It's 1000 already!

I run towards the staff room on another floor. Inside the room an 'iconic' BITS faculty [B.F.] is sitting.

BF : Who are you?
I : Sir, I am actually a student. But I have come here for - -
BF : Do you know what time is it? Now you cannot write the exam. What's your ID number?
I(blurting out) : I am an invigilator, sir.
BF : Then what are you doing here? Who is invigilating in your class?
I : There are no students in my class, sir. Nobody came.
BF throws his hands in the air saying : How is that possible? Are you sure?
I : Yes, sir. I am 100% sure.
BF : Let me check the sitting arrangement. What did you say your classroom is?
I : 3 A, sir.

BF scrutinizes the paper in his hand and says. 'It seems 7 rooms are allotted for embedded system design. Number of students must have been overestimated. And there is no seat number system so anybody can seat anywhere.'

I am still thinking 'But why my room?'

I : What should I do now sir?
BF thinks for a while and says : Mereko nahi pata. I am here for the first time. Perhaps you can help any other invigilator who wants to have break for some time.
I say 'Aye Aye, sir!' and get on the twos.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Afternoon session

Before reaching the class I prayed 'Please send some students to my class'.
And when I reached the class I was again in for a second surprise. My class was houseful! Overjoyed, I went in and started counting the students.

[To be continued....perhaps]

Wednesday 18 February 2009

With a little help from my friends

Oh no! It's not yet another list of 'best free software'.

Umm, well, perhaps it is:)
Here are some tools which I have been using for quite some time and they come quite handy. Just sharing the information for general knowledge.
Bye the way, I am assuming that you use firefox, and not IE. Otherwise your place in hell is reserved :)

OK. enough bakwaas.



1. Firefox addons - IETab - with this you can sign into two gmail/ymail accounts simultaneously in 2 different tabs. link - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1419

Another useful addon will be All-In-one sidebar. link - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1027 Use the gtalk sidebar along with this. That requires no gmail/gtalk sign in, you can chat in a sidebar, and close it as and when emergency arises. Yeah Bitsians, you know what I mean.:) link for it -
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/4708

2. Many a times when your terminal gets incapacitated due to the wrath of viruses, you can't access task manager or registry editing tools. For this you need following software. It's just some 96kb and worth a shot. Download it from my google site http://sites.google.com/site/tronixcept/Home/Scanner.doc?attredirects=0 .After downloading - rename it as .exe file (reason - I can't upload .exe file so just changed the extension)

3. To protect your usb from some kind of virus transfer use http://realtrix.blogspot.com/2009/01/usb-virus-protection-stop-usb-pen.html . Sometimes it happens that you are unable to delete some file. It says ''some process is using this file blah blah" But you don't know which process/program is using the deleterious file. Use unlocker.exe, it finds out which process has locked the file and shuts down the process. Download it here - http://ccollomb.free.fr/unlocker/unlocker1.8.7.exe

4. If you are a die-hard note taker, and don't have MS one note, which is one of the rare good software by microsoft, you can use Google Notebook. Also download firefox extension of it. http://www.google.com/notebook/ . If your work includes reading lots of IEEE type papers better use Foxit reader, and use it to the fullest. You can comment/color/underline or do anything you want with the document. Link - http://www.foxitsoftware.com/pdf/rd_in

5. And last in the list would be the 'Bookmarklets' . There are so many of them. Just visit the page to know more. FYI I use their hide all image bookmark, which hides all image on any page by just clicking on the bookmark (see figure below.)


Wednesday 4 February 2009

Why Do People Hate Nadal


I have some friends who follow Tennis quite religiously. There is one thing I have noticed while watching 'Federer &/ Nadal' matches with them. All of them always cheer to the shots by Fed, all of them always loathe Nadal. Whenever Federer hits a good shot, it's his class. Whenever Nadal hits a good shot he is a machine. Nadal scores because of his physical power, Federer scores because of his greatness. It all seemed so biased to me that I decided to trawl the net and see what people all over the world are talking about them.

BTW there are more google results for the search entry "why people hate Federer" than for "why people hate Nadal".


These are some of the comments I saw on a forum -

"wow… so many reasons for disliking the antipathetic topspinmonkey !!! i’ll start with his disgusting behaviour on the court…
i can’t bear this flow of negative expressions he’s showing… this ugly kid has something “evil” in the eyes…… this is visceral : i can’t bear his permanent fistpumpings (OMG when he does it while jumping or rising his leg… that’s the worst !) "



"1. Main reason. It seems to me that he doesn't respect GREATs. When he strikes some successfull shot he starts jumping, making some gestures with hands, starts looking at opponent with an anger as at enemy, as if this young kid wants to say " Look, how I have f..d you".

I imagine myself in his situation. How could I behave if I'd play against Agassi or say Federer. I think very modest. With big respect.

Concerning Agassi every player must understand in the first that he doesn't play against real Agassi, but against 35-years old Agassi. Agassi could teach such a player as Nadal if he were at age 19. Even against 35 y.o. we must recognise that Nadal won him with big difficulties.

2. Second reason. Don't like his tennis. Very primitive tennis based mainly on physical condition of the player, on his youth. Despite so many words about his bright future I tend to consider that with every year his position will worsen because his tennis is based on running, trying to get every , even impossible balls, on youth."


"I hate Rafael Nadal because he is arrogant and he pisses me off."


That's enough I think, you get the picture.

It's all illogical, don't you think? What's this 'respect' thing? Everybody has his own style of playing. I have a hypothesis about why people hate X player. It's not the only reason but It's one of the main reasons.

____People who express their thoughts are hated. [e.g. those who do 'YES!!' every two minutes] People who show their emotions - especially aggressive ones - are hated.____

I mean, C'mmon, it's a sport after all. Not a chess game, where you remain stoic.

PS - Want to know 'why people hate'? go to http://www.kuufnh.org/whyhate.htm or

An unrelated but interesting quote -

"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." - Darrin Weinberg - [who the heck is he anyway?]



Tuesday 27 January 2009

Weekends @ Bangy

When I asked my friend what are you doing this Saturday, he said there is this big mall somewhere around. I said “Mall? Who would go to a mall on weekends? Especially when you got nothing to buy. Just hanging around in malls is not my kinda pastime”. He squinted - “where do you go?”


Here is my recipe for the weekends @ Bangalore


Open the newspaper. Search for 'free entry' painting exhibitions, plays, cartoon exhibitions, movie shows etc. etc.


Open google maps – track down the location. Print it.


Get on the state bus. Volvo buses here are dearly priced. And maybe that’s why they seem half empty most of the time. Be ready for long walks before you reach your destination. I have met lots of enthusiastically helpful guides who point in exactly opposite directions adding to my confusion.


Sometimes it's better to call on the number given for contact in the newspaper before leaving your home. This Sankranti, me and my friend went to see a cartoon exhibition featuring David Low organized by 'Indian Cartoonist Society' just to know that it was closed on the day. I was wondering why the heaven did they print the ad in the tabloid that day?


Last Saturday we went to see the movie by German director Werner Herzog. FYI the film fest will go on for the whole week, check out http://www.goethe.de/bangalore - for more details. I thank Max Mueller Bhavan for a nice experience of watching 'Aguirre – The Wrath of God'. It was an awe-inspiring movie. Only god knows how it was shot under such grievous conditions. The story is set in 1560. Most of it is shot on a raft on which a group of people hopelessly go on searching for Gold City of El Dorado. They are frequently attacked by Indians.


My favorite shots -


The raft is going by a place where they see some Tribal people running and shouting.

The leader asks his interpreter - “What are they saying?”

Interpreter answers - “They are saying 'Meat! Fresh meat passing by!'”



In the end all the people on the raft die, except their power hungry leader – 'Aguirre', who made them come this far. There is also an assembly of small monkeys. I don't know from where Herzog got so many of them for shooting. Aguirre holds one of them in his hand and asks - “Anybody else here with me?”


Throughout the movie Herzog surprises us with the shots of wild animals in the jungles of Peru.


PS – There were English subtitles.


For the Bookworms


For those who love the smell of age old leafs there are some shops of old and rare books on the Brigade Road .

It is not as vast as you would find in Old Delhi. As always, you never know what you are going to find unless you are ready to get dust laden in these shops. Man! Those lovely Stacks of books…




This is just my 3rd week here. Hope to find new ways of spending weekends here as time goes by.

Thursday 22 January 2009

Thursday 1 January 2009

good read


JRD's 1982 reenactment flight - Can you guess his age?

Recently read two books, nice ones

First one - Beyond the Last Blue Mountain - Biography of JRD Tata written by his R. M. Lala -published by Penguin - I must say, JRD's personality is inspiring for any Indian.


Some excerpts -
...At eighty-seven he [JRD] is as particular as ever. 'I know that aiming at perfection has its drawbacks. It makes you go into details you can avoid. It takes a lot of energy but that is the only way you can achieve excellence. So, in that sense, being finicky, is essential.'..

...The thunderstorm hit them and it was dark. Captain Vishvnath says, 'Usually pilots fight this force of nature. J.R.D. flies by his brains - a natural pilot who becomes a part of the machine. He let the small plane he flies go up and down like a piece of paper in the wind. He did not "fight the controls" or put the plane under the slightest stress for under a stress a plane can break up.' He adds, ' There was no panic in J.R.D. at the controls.'

The second book is मराठी.
'त्या वर्षी' - शांता गोखले - मौज प्रकाशन


I felt as if i'm watching some movie while reading this one. It's a novel about a group of friends, belonging to different professions, namely -music, painting, journalism. Background is of religious violence (is that even an appropriate word?). The author is somewhat old by age - but the writing is amazingly young. The book has some pages that will make you experience a music concert, drawing of a painting, in short it is not only a book to read but to listen and see too. Nice read. Know more about the writer at http://www.indiaplaza.in/goldenquill/goldenquill_jury-shanta.aspx
बऱ्याच दिवसानी चांगली कादंबरी वाचली.